The Bryce Harper Press Conference
REPORTER 1: Bryce, hey Bryce! What have you been up to this offseason?
HARPER: Aww, gee, fellas, I dunno, can’t a guy catch a break? Tough Q’s and I got no A’s for ya. I, uhh, aww gosh, my memory, ya know, it fails me. Can’t even remember what I ate for breakfast.
REPORTER 2: Bryce, Jane Thomas, Stumpton Features. Any predictions for next season?
HARPER: Awww, geez, ya stumped me there again. We got a good team, but you know, who knows? Who knows?!
REPORTER 3: Bryce! Bryce! Todd Crumfeld, Springfield Gazette. Do you know the directions back to the interstate?
HARPER: Yeah, yeah, I should be able to, uh, it’s a left outta here, no, wait. Where’d you park? I don’t—oh gosh, this is so embarrassing, I mean, I live here! Aww geez. I’m sorry, fella.
REPORTER 4: Bryce, Bryce! Is there a God?
HARPER: (Throws hands up and makes cartoonish noises)
REPORTER 5: Bryce! Larry Murphins, Dallas Post Register. Quick question: I am the beginning of the end, the end of every place.
I am the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space.
What am I?
HARPER: The letter E. Thanks, guys, I gotta go get ready. Have a great day?
(image by Scott Ableman, h/t Big League Stew)